My Son, My Secretary, My Country

Not many people can compete with Robert Pollard when it comes to writing songs that shift from the softest to loudest dynamics in the shortest amount of time. Few songs rival "A Crick Uphill" in this department, but "My Son, My Secretary, My Country" is certainly Top 5.

The song begins with a quiet, mournful horn section that sounds exactly like what it is: An eighth grade band, in this case, the Esther Dennis Middle School Eighth Grade Band from Dayton. After about 45 seconds of this, Pollard enters, accompanying himself on acoustic guitar.

with your mission wilting,
and your kids sulking,
happy birthday Mr. sink.
throw your flowers in the river and drink.

From there things build steadily. Pollard's guitar, still the only instrument, becomes clearer and more forceful. It is joined by a cacophonous guitar strum midway through the bridge/chorus (in a song where the lyric takes only a minute or so, it's sometimes hard to discern.

He rattles off some great rhyming lines as the song comes to a head:

for the sketch of explorers,
and the hot air annoyers,
good men destoyers,
future employers,
cowboys and lawyers,
and we all will be warriors.

Closing with a rousing, final, "Rahhhhhhhhh!"

The demo found on Edison's Demos doesn't include the horn section, instead starting when Pollard and his guitar do. Vocally, he escalates things a bit at the points during which the song's instrumental layers kick in on the finished version, though his ending "Rahhhh!" seems neutered when compared to the multi-track war cry that ends the song on Earthquake Glue, leading into the following track, "I'll Replace You With Machines."